My Reflection (S1 Ep2-2)

Tuesday, May 14

With the authorization to open the Ball with a fashion show, which I must say, was easier than I expected. So I was left only with the task of choosing the pieces to present. Nothing seemed well. The prickles, the fear of failure created in me a feeling of incapacity. Not because I feared being laughed at or because I feared no one came to like my pieces, I was feared of disappointing Joan and Dianne.

So, a little more than four weeks to the ball I decided to create from scratch, to draw new pieces. -"It must be a small collection to get in time... choose the material..."

Slowly ideas were emerging and I couldn't stop drawing. - "Joan and her ideas"- a phrase that bounced around constantly in my thoughts.

I ended up falling asleep between my sketches and during the hours that followed the creation of the fashion show held my dreams completely. When awake I was afraid, but when I dreamt about the scenarios coming to life, the smiles in the audience, the anxiety mixed with visible enthusiasm on the faces of the girls, this desire, strong, passionate for wanting more, for wanting to make the dream reality consumed me and made me fearless...

Wednesday, May 15

When I woke up, I could still imagine every moment of my dream. And while I was brushing my teeth, seeing my reflection in the mirror, I found myself thinking - "How would I like to be the girl in my dreams, fearless, not being afraid to take a chance…"  

As much as I wanted to shake this feeling that made me doubt myself there was something on my mind that kept saying that I couldn't, I couldn't do it. Some would say that is my conscience, but how could I be so divided between two realities? See me one way and then act another, not feeling myself. Am I not in control of my own life!?

By lunch, I had confirmation from Sofie and Monic who accepted, too, to participate in the fashion show. I spent the day focusing on sketches to present Joan this afternoon and I had drawn eight sets for my four best friends.

Joan: Hi Rose, how's work? I love the sound of this phrase, "How's work", sounds so grown-up.

Rose: Hi Joan, currently sounds exhausting, but I admit that I’m loving the results. Tell me what do you think?

Joan: Wow, Rose, these are amazing…

Rose: Seriously? Don't you think it’s too daring?

Joan: It is a Spring/Summer fashion show, these designs are amazing and it's not hard to know who's wearing what.

Rose: since you are modelling, drew two sets for each one of you girls. I've been inspired by your styles.

Joan: I see it, these details are wonderful. Seriously!

Rose: Thank You!

Well, the sketches were made. And now approved by Joan. Lacked choose the material and produce the pieces. The next weeks that were to come would be pretty busy, but fun, because it involved cutting and sewing so I’m on my custom theme park. I'd be in my world where the two of me are one!