Rose & Kat | S1Ep2.2 | My Reflection

 PORTUGUÊS | ENGLISH

Tuesday, May 14

Dear Diary,

Today, I’m in a complete frenzy.

With permission to open the end-of-year dance with a fashion show — which, I have to say, was much easier to get than I expected — all that was left was to choose the pieces I was going to showcase.

But nothing seemed good enough to me.

That little nervous feeling, mixed with the fear of failing, created a sense of inadequacy inside me. I wasn’t afraid that people would laugh at me or that they wouldn’t like my designs. What really scared me was the possibility of disappointing Joan and Dianne.

So, with just over four weeks to go until the dance, I made a decision: I would create everything from scratch. Design new pieces, put together a small collection, and make it happen.

“It has to be a small collection so I can finish it in time… And I still have to choose the materials…”

Little by little, ideas started to come to me, and I simply couldn’t stop drawing.

“Joan and her ideas.”

That sentence kept bouncing around in my head.

I eventually fell asleep surrounded by my sketches, and over the hours that followed, the vision of the fashion show completely took over my dreams.

When I was awake, I was afraid. But when I dreamed of the sets coming to life, the smiles from the audience, and the excitement mixed with anticipation visible on the girls’ faces, something inside me changed.

It was a strong desire, almost burning. A need to go further, to take a risk, to turn that dream into reality.

And that desire consumed me… but, at the same time, it made me fearless.

 

Wednesday, May 15

When I woke up, I could still picture every moment I had dreamed about.

While brushing my teeth, I stared at my reflection in the mirror and caught myself thinking — “I wish I could be the girl in my dreams… Fearless. Not afraid to take risks.”

No matter how hard I tried to push away that feeling that made me doubt myself, there was a voice in my head that kept telling me I couldn’t do it. That I wouldn’t succeed.

Some people might say it was simply my conscience, but how could I feel so divided between two realities?!

Seeing myself one way and then acting another.

Dreaming of being someone I still couldn’t recognise in myself in real life.

Was I really not in control of my own life?!

By lunchtime, I had confirmation from Sofie and Monic that they had also agreed to take part in the fashion show.

I spent the day focused on the sketches I wanted to show Joan that afternoon, and before I knew it, I had already designed eight outfits for my four best friends.

Joan: Hi, Rose. How’s the work going? I love the sound of that phrase, “how’s the work going?” It sounds so grown-up.

Rose: Hi, Joan. Right now, it sounds exhausting to me, but I have to admit I’m loving the final result. Tell me what you think.

Joan: Wow, Rose! They’re incredible…

Rose: Really? Aren’t they too daring?

Joan: It’s a summer fashion show! These designs are amazing. And it’s not hard to tell who’s going to wear what.

Rose: Since you’re the ones walking in the show, I designed two outfits for each of you. I took inspiration from your individual styles.

Joan: I see… These details are wonderful. Seriously!

Rose: Thank you!

Well, the sketches were done and approved by Joan.

Now all that was left was to choose the materials and start making the pieces.

A few busy weeks were ahead of me, but they were going to be a lot of fun too. After all, if it involves cutting and sewing, I’m in my very own personalised amusement park.

My world.

The place where I can be myself.

Where those two versions of me — the girl who is afraid to take risks and the fearless girl who lived in my dreams — could become one and the same!

With care, Rose

[S1Ep2.3 | The Conscience of the Dreams]

[S1Ep2.1 | Start small, Dream big]