You pushing her away (S1 Ep.13-8)

I know there is a lot more, beyond what Elizabeth told, to uncover. I could feel it. "Why is he a clear image to me?! Why his presence stirs me this much?!" Knowing that Joan was controlling my thoughts, creating illusions of reality, let the fear that Mikhael was just one more. A sweet illusion to hide her true secret.

As I walked away Mikhael approached Joan. Heard our conversation and he knew that only through the truth would have his sweet Anastacia back.

Seth: She'll only understand if you tell her the truth.

Joan: I know, but I'm afraid.

Seth: She will be protected. We will be together.

Joan: Every day I study my Grimoire, every day I practice new spells to strengthen me. And I'm still without an answer, without a solution. Your love is stronger than my magic. Even without knowing it, since she felt you, she struggles to get to you...

Seth: "From the pure hearts is born the light and with it, you will fear nothing because nothing will be as strong or powerful."

Joan: I know, my brother! I know ... - With the sad eyes watched me while I walked away through the hallway. - But how can I be sure she’ll survive? How?! Removing her memories of the past was not enough... And now anything I’ll do will be until we find Francis.

Seth: Do you really want to remove the protection spell?

Joan: I want to keep her safe, that's all I want.

Seth: You can not control everything, Rebecca. The more away she is the harder it is for her and for the guardians.

Joan: She will never forgive me for having pulled you apart. In what I made you become...

Seth: I believe the fear you feel is that you're not able to forgive yourself. What I am was not an act of your, but the result of my despair, of my thirst for revenge and for eternity I will live with the consequences of my actions. You have to accept that it wasn't your fault and follow your way. Let her follow hers. We'll be here to protect her, always.

Joan looked at Mikhael realizing that at his eyes she would always be his dear sister. His words comforted her and didn’t even dared to correct him when he called her for Joan. Nobody knew her as well as he does. Sometimes, not even. She was blinded by the guilt resided in her, the guilt of our destinations.

Living with the past is not easy because the pain of the consequences of our actions prevail until we accept it and forgive ourselves. This is the most difficult act, forgiveness, but also the most divine, the way to find peace.

This was her life, this is my life and before it was too late, Joan, would have to understand that it is not her responsibility to protect us from all evils, because, as much tumbles I take, I just need to have my girlfriends before me, extending their hands, helping me to rise again.