16th Episode – Just one more step (S1 Ep.16-1)

1.   In my bedroom

"The answer to what?!"

I leaned against the bed and started reading. I got intrigued by the letter, but more with the message from my diary. Word after Word, page after page, relived the whole beginning of the year that had passed. I was tired and the weigh in my eyes was inviting me to sleep. The anxiety wouldn't let me. Wanted to read faster, browse faster, however, the fear of pass something contained me and made me read line by line.

Want to find out more about Mikhael. Know why I would mention him. Why I wished he had a family once more, wished for him to feel warm and protected and wished he find the love he has waited for… Who was he? How I met him!?

I was already in April and had no mention about him. Reports about the days of my scared speeches, about the friendship with Ryan that was lost, about the insecurity that was characteristic of me... Everything seemed normal.

Although I believed only in the fictional existence of mythical creatures, the fear of losing my sanity, of losing me by the words of others, would be the only reason I would leave a message like this. Effect of many serious about the supernatural, perhaps...

I ended up letting me fall asleep. I was exhausted! The morning in a few hours would arise and being the first day of the year there was a series of rituals to complete before the day was over.

Woke up full of energy. Dreamed of the fashion show that's coming and wanted to, as soon as possible, speak with Sofie and Charlie to see if my plan would be feasible. If this were so, the casting would be done and the fashion show almost ready. The biggest challenge would be to ensure the space availability, by finding the sponsorships we needed.

I took a shower, got dressed and went to get breakfast. Mother and Charlie still slept, so I got back to my bedroom to read a little more.

Late in April, the moment that led me to here... "Joan and her ideas." If she doesn't challenge me as much, I wouldn't be in this way today. Would be just focused on studies thinking how impossible would be to realize my dream. Believing that the only possible way would be that I had no room for my own choices.

Passing through May and beginning in June I regaled me with a description of the moments that we spent in preparation for the opening fashion show of the Ball and with the extraordinary sensation of having participated. Recalled the mysterious appearance of the mask that gave me the final push of courage to go on stage. Revived the discovery of this four-legged sleeper being, which filled my days with the joy of being received in a party every time I get home. However, notice some discomfort in relation to some attitudes of Joan. "(...) Since her birthday, Joan is acting weird (...) Does she want to give up the project? (...) Joan's grandmother should not be in good health and that's why she's so weird."

The mentions about Joan became increasingly frequent, much more frequent than normal. We were working on the project and so we spent a lot of time together, but something wasn't right. By my writing realized the distance grew between us.