Seeing through my own eyes (S1 Ep.16-4)

There is something very wrong in all this. I wrote about someone who I don't have any memory. I'm not crazy. Charlie and the girls are the proof. He spoke of the Christmas party and dinner… Maybe it's from there that I should continue my reading.

After lunch, I went to the bedroom. I grabbed the journal, open the last written sheets. I looked for the date of Christmas party and read all its content. “(…) Joan thinks I'm part of a fairy tale (…) Prince Mikhael fell in love with her simplicity and generosity (…) Started screaming nonsense (…) your body was found at the bottom of the cliff… by the sea. (…)” What?!

Wrote each word of Joan, as she was told her story. Anxiety invaded me, what I discovered was absurd. Stood up and walking from one side to the other continued to read. The magnetism to all this madness wouldn't let me stop, wanted to know more.

 “(…) I didn't want to hear anything else, I didn't want to feel anything anymore! I couldn't be there. Surrounded by so many people and having this need to scream... Need his presence, needed to know if he was real.

Then, I ran out of the room. Ran and ran to get out of there. Joan was right about one thing, the sea told me. The beach was near and didn't stop until I get there. The sound of the waves let my thoughts flow. Looking at the Moon performed by half, I felt that with him, she fulfilled. Want to be the moon. Bright, clear your destiny ... I wanted him to be the other part of me wanted to hear your voice, feel your presence.

So, I ran out of the area. Ran and ran to get out of there. Joan was right about one thing, the sea calmed me. The beach was near, the sound of the waves let my thoughts flow. Looking at the Moon performed by half, I felt that with him, she fulfilled. Want to be the moon… Bright, certain of its destiny ... I wanted him to be the other part of me, wanted to hear his voice, feel his presence... (…)My heart raced, my body froze, my voice was gone for a while… (…) Mikhael! (…)”

To hit on the nightstand, it was like a call to reality. It looked like I had just awakening. I felt something fall and I bent down to pick it up. With the crash of the small box on the ground that opened at the same time a sound emerged. Holding it in my hands now I saw two dolls embraced, swirling to the music. "Where did I heard this before?!"

I sat on the bed. I closed my eyes and let the music that emerged from the box calm me down…

 “I was at the Christmas party, it was almost midnight, just left the ladies toilet and followed to the Ballroom... He was coming towards me, extending his hand invited me to dance… His eyes fixed on me, exercised a certain domain. My fascination was full for the trust he transposes when holding my back, delicate and firmly. Such is the overwhelming of emotions about me, that I feel is he that keeps me standing, is he my pillar and just he and I exist at this moment...”

Is this a memory, or just a dream?!