Slipping away (S1 Ep.17-7)

Monday, January 6

I'm sitting here, looking at the organized pencil case, at the open notebook, just waiting for the bell signal. Trying to calm my thoughts. Looks like I have butterflies in my stomach. Anxiety and nervousness were constants, wanted to leave this story behind, but I couldn't. It's not of me to stay without answers. Even if they are what I don't want to hear, I will respect their will, but not knowing is the worst.

Joan: It's everything okay? You look a little pale.

Rose: Yes, I’m fine. I just need to go to the bathroom.

Joan: Again?!

With the sign of the bell, I left the classroom almost flying.

Joan: I’ll go with you!

Rose: No need, I’ll meet you in the library.

The second break in the morning, the last before the lunch hour. I didn't want to admit it, because I didn't want to admit it to myself. I was going as fast as I could, to pass in the teachers’ room, before they arrived... I was looking for him.

When I got there the room seemed empty. I entered the bathroom and passed a little water at the neck, it seemed I was about to implode. My whole body was shaking. -"I’ll go in and ask for the teacher? No, better if I not. This is going to sound weird. I wait a little more at the door! But I don't even know who he is, how will I recognize him..." - These were some of my doubts and anxieties of the moment. Wanted so much to see him and at the same time I didn't, I was in conflict, probably for fear harsh words that would made me see the reality that his absence had already demonstrated.

I returned to the hallway and waited a little more. I saw some teachers that I recognized easily, but not him. None of those faces looked unfamiliar. - "Maybe he’s not here today!" – With this in mind, I went up to the library to meet the girls, slow and pensive, hoping to still see him, to recognize him just by his presence. I felt like I would know who he was…

The lunch hour arrived and when we were on our way to the eating hall my cell phone rang. Was Charlie asking to go to the lab. – "Would have an answer? In the lab! Yes, Mikhael must be in the lab!" - Sometimes you are so focused on something you don't see other possible answers to our question. - "Why didn't I think of this before?"

When we got to the lab my eyes were shining, was still nervous, but a little smile escaped, would finally meet Mikhael. Well, it wasn't the first time, although to me, right now, it seemed like it was.

Rose: Charlie! Can we? - Wow ... I've never been here and I must say, it's a world.

Charlie: Hi girls. Come on in. You must have some precaution in here, okay? Sofie, did you give them a briefing?

Sofie: No Charlie. I thought we'd be by the entry.

Charlie: It's okay. I need you to come with me to the arena. Stay always between the flagged bands on the floor. Never, never pass for the compartment, okay.

All: Okay!

Charlie: In here you have to walk around with badges, ask here at the entrance. Just giving my name...

Rose: Can not be Sofie’s? – I asked while we put the badges.

Charlie: No, it has to be a senior. Well, let's get going. I explain the rest on the way.

We followed Charlie to the arena of the presentations, as he indicated the main rules of the lab. Was listening to him but at the same time longed for to know the reason we're here and another part of me longed for see him.

Charlie: Professor, these are the girls. My Sister Rose, Joan, Monic and Dianne ...

Prof. Samuel: And our little Sofie.

Sofie: Good morning Prof. Samuel.

My eyes wandered around the room, I was confused. It was not supposed to talk with who is in charge of the lab?

Rose, Joan, Monic and Dianne: Good morning.

Prof. Samuel: Good morning girls. So, you want to make a holographic presentation? Charlie here says you are hardworking and responsible. Judging by our little Sofie I'd say he's right. The director of the laboratory authorized the recordings and instructed me to follow the whole process. If you demonstrate responsibility and professionalism in our commitment, as I believe you will, you are allowed to use the equipment in the fashion show.

Rose: Thank you very much professor.

They were wonderful news. We schedule our sessions and we left. When leaving the laboratory the girls were ecstatic. I was happy, I really was, however, the feeling of disappointment made it feel like a needle crossed in my throat.

Rose: Thank you, Charlie.

Charlie: So, are you not happy?

Rose: Yes I am. The date of the fashion show is closing, everything is getting so real. It's just the heebie-jeebies… Huh, Charlie?!

Charlie: Yes?

Rose: Why didn't professor Seth speak with us?

Charlie: He's not here! But anyway the professor Samuel is responsible for your project, it is he who will guide you thru.

Rose: Oh, okay! Once again, thank you Charlie. See you later.

When I asked about Mikhael I noticed that Joan's expression changed, no matter how much she tried not to show it. She knew why he wasn't here. And continued to keep secrets between us…